Family !@#$%^&*()!!!!!!!!

Verbal fight with your mom. I hate this day! The want to move out, go out and never return!!!!

Feeling blank

It took me a while to start. It's not I don't have something to write. I have, a lot. It's like I don't know how to begin. Now, I just started to fill this empty page with words. I think I'm writing senseless things, senseless thought. Just whatever comes to mind. Random. I'm thinking of buying a new phone. I feel bored, I feel blank, I need to be pre-occupied. I have lots of new and wonderful movies, good music and series burried in my external hard drive. Some are my fave. But nothing seems to interests me. I tried watching, I paused and stopped. I have this novel that I started reading. But I can't put myself into reading mood as well. I wanted to read. I wanted to write. Now I'm writing just because I want to record this moment. I don't know what I am feeling. I'm feeling this... this which  I cannot describe, but my mind is focused on one special creature. That one is the reason for my blankness, for my recent sentiments.  

My Truths and Perceptions

Thoughts used to pop in my mind. Without any warning, Anywhere, whatevery I do, Random thoughts automatically enter my head.

And just before I ended my the hell-week at work, I entertained the thoughts, and stayed for a while. Worth it coz I couldn't leave work because of the rain.

Here are what I had to say:

- Truths and perceptions as per myself -
- I'm feeling the strongest waves have just winded up and are trying to drown you. Striking on your sails, I'm so concerned. I'm bothered that I am so concerned.

- I don't only read between the lines. I also learnt to read (between) the silence. One reason is, so I would know how to behave myself the proper way I know.

- A certain situation can change you into something you are not or into something you thought you can't be or will push you to show the attitude that you have just been restraining inside.

- And we also tend to change because of one person. Be it for good or bad.

- Nothing feels better and worse than Love (another prose I've been working on for days but having the hardest time to complete and fill in with genuine and faithful words)

- There will always be someone better than the one you thought is already the best and there will always be someone who has the worse problem than anyone you know. But sometimes, we used to be loyal to one person whom will always be the most brilliant creature we've known.

- Copying, a quote imprinted on my heart since my teenage years: "Love people NOT things. Use things NOT people." But sometimes I forgot and tend to value things than my loved ones. Guess I'm a victim and so abused (just like the million others out there) by modern technology.

- I'm turning one year older than last year.

- Everybody feels low and sullen whenever it rains. Pour rain! What I only hate about the rain is not getting stranded nor getting sick but drenching my shoes and splashes of mud on my legs and feet. And yes as a human, it makes me feel the same (low and sullen)

That would be all for that moment and as of this moment, I am meeting my friend with a surprise guest. And, Surprises, I hate it!!! And I only had less than two hours of sleep. I need boost!

OFFICE FLING

LONGwork hours I think until my wntire stay with my current company. Hence, I'm thinking...

WANTED. Office Fling?

REQUIREMENTS: works on the same time as my working hours. With very good listening skills. Can take a break anytime I need a company... blah blah blah.. 

 or maybe I just need a few days break. Away from the city, away feom work... 

(mobile upload, ignore error)

When I was at the wrong place all those times..

 
When you totally absorbed that the mass is not synchronised with you, the feeling of unacceptance creeps in. With the small feeling of madness. When you feel that, this might be because you keep on swimmig farthur, too much further that you are already in the deepest level of sea that you know that you would drown yourself while others just setting boundaries, could be only until their waist-level, or shoulder, ust enjoying the water, or the waves, or the sand and nothing more. And now, that drowning is over, you are setting  boundaries now, you're gonna stop the turmoil which keeps boiling within yourself. You are now the Unknown...

This unseasoned piece was a result of that self-drowning. Unfortunately, I wasn't in control of my sentiments and allowed this to weakess to widespread and hoping to reach my intention.

If I were the opposite

Tell me your plans
Tell me your dreams
I want to know about these
Tell... me everything

What turns you on?
What turns you off?
What makes you break down and sob?
What makes you laugh and glow?

Do you love to journey
Can I travel with you?
What interests you
seem like to interest me too

What do you look and long for? (I wish would echo in my ear)
Is my disposition, the way I am as a person fit in?
What are your needs? (I also wish would echo in my ear)
Could my humble resources, talents and skills fill those in?

And if I fall short, do I have a chance to work on those?
Or are you going to show me the door to the awful end of my rainbow?
But before throwing off your heart-pounding decision
Please listen a bit more
To be around you feels great, you should know
A sensible gentleperson who knows a bunch of something I don’t

...

‘This’ I don’t need to argue myself with
I exactly know what ‘this’ is
But only you can relieve and send me back to tranquillity
Or toss me higher to perplexity and jealousy

To me, you are a valuable and attractive package
Don’t get this wrong, I meant this in my own (sincerest) way
What appears strongly in my mind is your image
What hits strongly in my heart is everything else beyond that image

And your presence alone is more than enough
It already can light me up like a light bulb
No need to utter anything or what
Your presence alone is more than enough

There is a shot in the dark in this writing, a subtle epiphany
How many glasses have I taken in?
But here are the last two lines before I freeze
“I would feel more blessed and positive in every bit
If I were the opposite”

27082013/03

I'm blocked, I couldn't read from others perspective. I couldn't identify if this indeed is too much or am just becoming paranoid?